Peanut Butter
I regret to inform you, my very few readers, that after crunchy deliberation, I am no longer an adherent of evolution.
I have discovered a most amazing truth I just had to spread around...
Peanut butter disproves evolution
Before you roast me, understand that it took me a while to believe it, and I even conducted my own survey. I went to three different grocery stores and opened several jars of peanut butter. At the last two stores I didn't pay for them because I ran out of money at the first one - talk about a sticky situation!. For all of my trouble, I did not find any new life.
So, in one smooth swoop, I have become a creationist. I don't see any other way that life could have come into being; we know it certainly did not evolve.
This may come as a disappointment to some, but knowing that some ethereal being - that formerly was merely sandwiched between my ears - cared so much about me that he would bother to design and make me as I am, rather than have me emerge out of peanut butter, is unbelievably emotionally-satisfying.
Seriously, anyone who believes in evolution is downright nutty.
I have discovered a most amazing truth I just had to spread around...
Peanut butter disproves evolution
Before you roast me, understand that it took me a while to believe it, and I even conducted my own survey. I went to three different grocery stores and opened several jars of peanut butter. At the last two stores I didn't pay for them because I ran out of money at the first one - talk about a sticky situation!. For all of my trouble, I did not find any new life.
So, in one smooth swoop, I have become a creationist. I don't see any other way that life could have come into being; we know it certainly did not evolve.
This may come as a disappointment to some, but knowing that some ethereal being - that formerly was merely sandwiched between my ears - cared so much about me that he would bother to design and make me as I am, rather than have me emerge out of peanut butter, is unbelievably emotionally-satisfying.
Seriously, anyone who believes in evolution is downright nutty.
posted by Mookie at 11:32 AM
1 Comments:
Watching it, it's very hard to remind myself that this isn't some skit on a comedy show, but that this is actually something that qualifies in our society as a respectable argument. But the people who put this shit out don't care if it's ridiculous, they know that the brainwashed morons will eat it up anyway.
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